7/23/12

"Open your mouth only if what you have to say is more beautiful than silence"

That's pretty much all I have to say for this post, because I cannot say anything more beautiful than that

3/10/12

So once upon a time my boy's departure date for the MTC got postponed until February 22nd. That made me happy because he was here for Valentines day. He took me on a really great date. Anyway, he's been in the MTC for two and a half weeks now. The letter he sent me made me so happy I literally cried. I mostly cried because of how much I miss him. And part of it was that it took him two weeks to send me a  letter so I felt abandoned. The feeling was mutual though because he expected me to write him first. It was just a big misunderstanding. But now that we are actually writing each other my life has improved greatly. Still not the same as him being here, but nothing can change that at this point. But everyday brings him one day closer to coming back to me.

12/17/11

My official freshman year in University is over. I know I passed my ASL class with an A, I had ~94% which is awesome considering the fact that I didn't even try. I don't know my grades for my other courses yet but I'm fairly certain I got A's in two out of three of my remaining courses. The only one I'm not sure about is Math but I know I got a better grade this time around, seeing as I did about 50% more of the course work this time. I hope that raises my GPA to a 3.0 but I really am not sure how GPA's are calculated... Haha well I guess I'll find out :)

11/30/11

My boy got his mission call about a month ago. I don't really know how I feel about that. He won't be leaving for the MTC until February first, which is getting ever closer. His birthday is next week on Tuesday. I am planning a super fun party for him. It's going to be a surprise party and we're going to go to Lowe's Extreme Air Sports but I have no idea how I'm going to get him to wear exercise clothes without giving it away. I might ask one of my friends to bring extra that he can wear. This is certainly a conundrum.

8/17/11

Long time no blog. I'm starting college in a little over a week. My first class is on Saturday next week. It feels soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so so weird to be growing up. My boy and I went to PHS yesterday to get my transcript and walking in there knowing that will be probably my last time until my children go there (If they do) was the weirdest feeling ever. Everything was so familiar but over the summer they had done so much work. It looked cleaner and more open and friendly and when I went into the CCC it was completely rearranged. I'm growing up and there's nothing I can do to stop it. It feels like it's all moving way too fast.

2/13/11

I look at pictures of people with babies or married couples and I want that really badly. I wanna be married with a baby all of my own. But I KNOW I'm not close to ready. I also know that if I'm going to marry my boy that he's even further from being ready than I am

12/26/10

‎"If you're not able to love freely, it's not really love."

I was reading He's not that into you and this was one of the quotes that I really liked. It was from the section about dating married men. I think it was the most appropriate comment in relation to that and to many other things. If someone can't give you every ounce of their love then they don't really love you. Real love is all or nothing

11/1/10

I haven't written a poem in almost two months.

My boy's mother pisses me off!

School is frustrating, I'm just ready to be done. Especially choir. More than half of chamber is ready to drop.

Life is frustrating...

Work is frustrating. They keep making dumb changes that I don't approve of...

Halloween was major fun!!

I want him SOOO badly. I don't get near enough time with him

And that's how it goes

10/17/10

Haha this long weekend off school was pretty epic. Too bad I couldn't spend at least a little bit of it with my boy... I miss him lots and lot and lots.
Anyways, Wednesday night we slept over at my big brothers house. It was really fun. We spent the whole time watching scary movies. I was the only one that stayed awake for every movie. And I couldn't even see what was going on... : P Whenever someone would wake up I would ask them questions until they fell back asleep. Even though I couldn't see I understood the basic plot line. After everyone woke up we went downstairs and had breakfast. We ate deliciously amazing pancakes and had peach smoothy. My big brother is a very good cook. Later we went to Ara's house to see if my car was fixed yet. It is still not fixed. It's been three weeks...... :(
After work they wanted me to come over and have another sleep over at big brother's. I went right to sleep because I was dead tired.
Friday I played with Ara most of the day. Especially Friday night. Dude with a bible name and kid that plays guitar came over and we had epicness time. We went to Denny's and it was super fun. We started singing at our booth after we ate because we were bored and the people that sat in the booth behind us started singing too. It was awesome!!!
I still miss my boy and probably won't get to see him till Monday... Oh well I guess it will make it all the more exciting when I see him next. I finally shaved my legs today because my ouchy is gone. I want to see him tonight so they're still soft but they'll be soft tomorrow too

9/30/10

Life is getting very complex. It's full to the brim right now and I'm kinda manic trying to deal with this. Haha oh well. It'll work

8/17/10

"Despite everything we've done together, one of my fondest memories of you is the other night when you fell asleep in my arms"


Golly gee I do love that boy. He makes me happy. I want things to be simple, they are getting too intense for my liking. I don't wanna end it... And I'm thinking that once school starts things will cool off a little bit. It would break my heart if we ended things but it might break my heart if things stay the way they are.

8/14/10

Chamber retreat: AMAZING
The end :)

8/3/10

"A mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it"


Yes, we made a mistake. Oh well, what happened happened and the only way to fix it is to not do it again.

We talked about marriage last night. He asked me if I'd be willing to wait for him while he's on his mission. I told him I would be willing but explained why I won't promise. It would break my heart if I had to "Dear John" anyone. He made me promise that even if I have a boyfriend or something I won't get married until I've given him a chance after he gets back. Now that I can promise. I just hope it lasts that long. I think he's the only guy that has ever genuinely cared about me this much. :)

7/29/10

For once I don't think I'm ready for school to start. I've been spending most of my days with either my bestie or my boy.

 Last night I slept over at my bestie's house. Her, Amber, and I had a girls night. It was so fun! We did facials and painted our nails. We talked for hours about all our frustrations, fears, and our love lives. It was very nice. I  have dubbed her as my new bestfriend, she totally and completely deserves the  title. 

On Monday night I had another sleep over. That was amazing too... :) I had a sleep over with my boy. It was so much fun and it was so romantic. Don't worry, nothing scandalous happened. Well at least not sexually scandalous because a girl and boy having a sleep over is scandalous by most definitions. Despite what may or may not happen. I love that boy :D

7/9/10

I was completely prepared to let you go. But I guess not. Oh well.

7/5/10

"America's greatest strength, and it's greatest weakness, is our belief in second chances, a belief that we can always start over, that things can be made better." Anthony Walton

A tribute to my country. This country is a chosen land. This land was set apart by God to bring about the last dispensation. But this country is also the first free country. A country that was formed by political extremists against all odds. This country is unique. And I'm proud to live in a place that is as unique as myself :D

6/27/10

We've been together 18 days. Haha, my second longest relationship. I know it's too soon to say, but I think I love him. I don't wanna say it until I know for sure... But  I really think I do. He's so perfect for me. He's super crazy like me, he's amazingly respectful, he's gentlemanly and he's sweet. We're just different enough to keep it interesting but we have enough in common that we fit together so well. Oh enough with my twitterpatted, infatuated, lovey dovey ness. This summer has improved significantly :)

6/8/10

So there's this boy.... :)  I'm starting to like him so much! He's so legit! He hasn't even tried to hold my hand yet or anything. Finally a guy who's interested in more than physical stuff. We've been texting almost non-stop for about a week and a half now. I visit him as often as I can. It does not help that he's grounded though... :P Haha oh well. He'll get ungrounded soon enough. I'm pretty sure he's figured out I like him a lot. This is fun :)

6/7/10

"I'd rather get stabbed in the front and watch myself bleed than get stabbed in the back and not know I'm dying"

Is it weird to quote myself on my blog? Well it's kinda something I came up with based on a conversation with the Countertenor. So it's half his half mine. It's basically means if you're going to do something that might hurt someone be straight up with them. In the end it hurts a lot more getting stabbed in the back, it creates a lot more bitterness and anger than being straight forward.
And this could also relate to gossip. That could be the "not know I'm dying" part. Because with gossip you don't know how far it has spread and how much damage it's done.

6/4/10

So I figured out why they act like that around me. It's some sort of contest for someones attention. For some reason they can get along when I'm not around but as soon as I'm in the picture they hate each other. Ugh.... I wonder if they realize how much freaking stress they cause me. It makes me want to not be around them both at the same time. I can handle them separately but certainly not together.