8/17/11

Long time no blog. I'm starting college in a little over a week. My first class is on Saturday next week. It feels soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so so weird to be growing up. My boy and I went to PHS yesterday to get my transcript and walking in there knowing that will be probably my last time until my children go there (If they do) was the weirdest feeling ever. Everything was so familiar but over the summer they had done so much work. It looked cleaner and more open and friendly and when I went into the CCC it was completely rearranged. I'm growing up and there's nothing I can do to stop it. It feels like it's all moving way too fast.

2/13/11

I look at pictures of people with babies or married couples and I want that really badly. I wanna be married with a baby all of my own. But I KNOW I'm not close to ready. I also know that if I'm going to marry my boy that he's even further from being ready than I am

12/26/10

‎"If you're not able to love freely, it's not really love."

I was reading He's not that into you and this was one of the quotes that I really liked. It was from the section about dating married men. I think it was the most appropriate comment in relation to that and to many other things. If someone can't give you every ounce of their love then they don't really love you. Real love is all or nothing

11/1/10

I haven't written a poem in almost two months.

My boy's mother pisses me off!

School is frustrating, I'm just ready to be done. Especially choir. More than half of chamber is ready to drop.

Life is frustrating...

Work is frustrating. They keep making dumb changes that I don't approve of...

Halloween was major fun!!

I want him SOOO badly. I don't get near enough time with him

And that's how it goes

10/17/10

Haha this long weekend off school was pretty epic. Too bad I couldn't spend at least a little bit of it with my boy... I miss him lots and lot and lots.
Anyways, Wednesday night we slept over at my big brothers house. It was really fun. We spent the whole time watching scary movies. I was the only one that stayed awake for every movie. And I couldn't even see what was going on... : P Whenever someone would wake up I would ask them questions until they fell back asleep. Even though I couldn't see I understood the basic plot line. After everyone woke up we went downstairs and had breakfast. We ate deliciously amazing pancakes and had peach smoothy. My big brother is a very good cook. Later we went to Ara's house to see if my car was fixed yet. It is still not fixed. It's been three weeks...... :(
After work they wanted me to come over and have another sleep over at big brother's. I went right to sleep because I was dead tired.
Friday I played with Ara most of the day. Especially Friday night. Dude with a bible name and kid that plays guitar came over and we had epicness time. We went to Denny's and it was super fun. We started singing at our booth after we ate because we were bored and the people that sat in the booth behind us started singing too. It was awesome!!!
I still miss my boy and probably won't get to see him till Monday... Oh well I guess it will make it all the more exciting when I see him next. I finally shaved my legs today because my ouchy is gone. I want to see him tonight so they're still soft but they'll be soft tomorrow too

9/30/10

Life is getting very complex. It's full to the brim right now and I'm kinda manic trying to deal with this. Haha oh well. It'll work

8/17/10

"Despite everything we've done together, one of my fondest memories of you is the other night when you fell asleep in my arms"


Golly gee I do love that boy. He makes me happy. I want things to be simple, they are getting too intense for my liking. I don't wanna end it... And I'm thinking that once school starts things will cool off a little bit. It would break my heart if we ended things but it might break my heart if things stay the way they are.